Please Note: Some of these Jokes may not be suitable for all persons.
Joke Of the Week
Bad Words - Submitted by, Anon
A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got
back, the bride immediately called her mother.
"Well," said her mother, " so how was the honeymoon?" "Oh, mama," she
replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..." Suddenly she
burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using
the most horrible language -- things I'd never heard before! I mean, all
these awful 4-letter words! You've got to take me home..., PLEASE MAMA!"
"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! You need to stay with your
husband and work this out. Now, tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT
4-letter words?" "Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the
daughter, "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! COME GET ME,
"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother
these horrible 4-letter words!"
Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama..., he used words like: dust,
wash, iron, cook..." "I'll pick you up in twenty minutes," said the
3 Couples, 2 Compliments, 1 Adventure! - Submitted by, Anon
Three couples went to a restaurant. The women wanted to compliment the men with something that was on the table.
"Could you pass me the sugar, sugar?" said the first gal.
"Could you pass me the honey, honey?" said the second.
"Could you pass me the bacon, pig?" said the third.
A Child's Prayer - Submitted by, Anon
One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying: "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa."
The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked.
The next night, he heard his son praying again: "God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma."
The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack.
Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy."
Now the father was crapping his pants. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor's early the next day to make sure his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, "Thank God you're here -- we could really use your help! We found milkman dead on our porch this morning!"
A Lesson in Church - Submitted by, Anon
A man and his wife were sitting in church, the man was sleeping and his wife was knitting. The priest asked "Who created the Earth and man?" The woman poked the man with her knitting needle and the man screamed, "GOD!" The Priest looked at him and said, "That's right."
Then he asked "Who is God's son?" Once more the woman poked her husband with the needle, he woke up and screamed, "Jesus Christ!" Again, the priest said, "Correct."
Finally, the priest asked, "What did Eve say to Adam when she didn't want any more children?" The knitter poked her husband again, but this time he screamed "Poke me with that thing one more time and I'm going to rip it off!" The priest smiled and said, "That's right."